Are There Dating Rules on Who pays?

I still feel like there aren’t any real rules to who pays for the date. Depends on who you ask. Most people I’ve spoken to, feel that the guy should always pay, which can seem a bit antiquated thinking-ish. Some people think the guy should pay for the first date or anytime they ask you out. If the woman asks, then she should pay. Then you have the women who don’t want to feel they owe the guy anything, so they ask to go dutch (split the bill) or pay for the bill. So which is it? I always find that part of the night to be…awkward.

Quick story. I had been talking to this guy for a bit and he told me to choose “any place” I wanted to go for our first date. I remember looking for places that had good first date ambiance. I found a place downtown that was pretty good, open area, awesome view and more importantly (for me) casual. It had good reviews for burgers and fries.

I let our friend, we shall call him Kevin, know where I had chosen and sent him a link to the place. He stated how nice the place was and that it looked “like fun.” Great right?! Ummm, no! He then hits me with “You will have to wait for a month, till I get paid, I’ll have enough then.” Then he suggested that we keep it uptown since it would be inexpensive compared to downtown. Wait, what!?

1) I have to wait a WHOLE month in order to go to a burger and fries joint. 2) He assumed the place was pricey because it’s located downtown. He apparently hasn’t been uptown in a while. 3) Let me repeat the first one and let that sink! I’d have to wait an entire month to go to a burger and fries joint.

After thinking about it, a few things came to mind. I understand that guys have the pressure to pay for the lady but in a situation like this, he obviously didn’t have it. He was honest enough to admit it. To be real, he already seemed to have some issues with “baby mamas.” This was the icing on the cake. This wasn’t something I was willing to negotiate on. His baby mama issues was going to be toxic and on top of that we wouldn’t be able to go to a simple burger joint. Too much, too early on.

In Kevin’s case, he was maybe too honest, I don’t know. I felt bad but then I immediately flashed forward to what our relationship would be like. I know, I know guys, I totally judged him. I just don’t think he was ready for the dating game, at least not with me.

Back to my original thought, who pays for the first date and/or the courting process? Me personally, being that I’m a bit traditional, I think the guy should definitely pay for the first date BUT I think the woman, if not pay, should definitely offer during the courting process. Going out all the time, wine and dining and doing fun things, all cost money!

Moral of the Story:

Be considerate more than anything! I can’t stress this one enough.

Whatever the situation is, always come prepared. Make sure you have enough money to pay for the date (even if you don’t pay) and pick restaurants that are moderate in price. Think about it like this, would you want someone to take advantage of you like that, just for a free meal?

Till next post, my Lovelies!